My Journey to Natural Living Part One
When I was a little girl and well into my adolescent years, I remember getting frequent compliments about my complexion. “Your skin is flawless!” they would say and then proceed to ask me how I managed to keep clear skin during the tumultuous teenage years. I never knew how to answer that because I didn’t do anything. It was just the way God had made me. Little did I know that God would later take me on a journey of acne and confusion that would end up changing the course of my life.
In August of 2012, I was living in east Asia–the summer heat and smog were almost suffocating. I was weary from a busy summer of hosting teams, getting engaged to the man of my dreams, escorting a sweet little boy to a different country for surgery, and being unable to come home for my sweet Mimi’s funeral. They say the days are long but the years are short–as I look back on this busy time I realize how true this statement is! One day I noticed that I had a few red pimples on my face. Nothing too concerning considering the stress I’d been under. But after a few weeks, I barely looked like the same person.
My cheeks and chin were covered with nasty dots of angry puss. It was so alarming that our resident doctor where I was staying was sure I had contracted some sort of bacterial infection. He put me on an antibiotic, which I gratefully accepted. This antibiotic led to a series of 5 different antibiotics and finally to a teary meeting with the dermatologist in which he said, “If you don’t go on Accutane, I don’t think your face will be clear for your wedding in June…or ever”. (This was many months later, after I had returned to the US). But after much research, I found out about Accutane’s long list of terrifying side effects, including severe birth defects if I were to get pregnant. Being six months away from my wedding, this just wasn’t something I could risk.
The dermatologist suggested that I go ahead and schedule my first appointment with the gynecologist. When I began telling her my symptoms, she suggested we do some blood work to test for polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). She didn’t think it was likely, but wanted to make sure. A few weeks later, I got a phone call from her that confirmed that I did indeed have PCOS . My testosterone levels were off the charts, which explained the sudden outburst of acne, untreatable by antibiotics. We were dealing with a hormone issue, not a bacterial infection. She acted as if it was no big deal and said birth control would fix the problem.
But for some reason, I questioned her advice. I asked if the symptoms would return if and when I stopped taking birth control. The answer was yes, most likely. I realized then that I could take medication to mask the problem and give me a false sense of security, or I could try getting to the root of the problem. The Lord was also prompting Michael and I to ask other serious questions about birth control–for totally different reasons than acne. He was nudging us to believe that we could trust Him with our agendas, our bodies, and even our family size.
I returned home that day feeling defeated. I looked like I just might have this awful acne on my face forever. My wedding photos would be plagued with an undeniable mark. I looked hopelessly at people with clear faces, trying to remember what it felt like to be one of them. It was in these moments of intense insecurity and vanity that the Lord drew me near and whispered His truth to my wayward heart. He nudged me to practice an attitude of thankfulness as I got ready each morning. I would thank God for my blue eyes, my hair, my eyelashes. My lips would repeat phrases of thankfulness while I begged my heart to follow. One day, Michael gently reminded me of one of our precious friends who was battling cancer. She had lost her hair with chemo treatments and was almost bald on her wedding day. But she was one of the most radiant brides I have ever seen in my life. It’s because her beauty came from a place far beneath the surface of her skin. Her beauty came from a passionate and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted that kind of beauty. This earthly tent will one day fade away and we will be given a new, glorious body that we will enjoy for all of eternity. Truly, the writer of Proverbs was correct, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30).
Stay tuned for part two of my journey to natural living!
